Honoring Teddy’s birth mom on Mother’s Day


This Sunday is Mother’s Day, and as we do every year, Mike and I will remember our  mothers with phone calls and gifts. This year, however, we have a third mother to think about: Teddy’s birth mom. We’d like to start a ritual now of remembering her, but how do you honor someone you’re not in contact with? The usual mother’s day demonstrations of gratitude—a phone call, a card, flowers—are all impossible. Although one blogger on the adoptive families website I read wrote about having her children write symbolic letters to their birth mothers. So when Teddy is old enough to understand what we’re doing, we might adopt that practice.

But for now, we’re left with one option, really. And that is to post a letter and/or pictures on the website we use to post our annual updates. So now we ask ourselves, for the third time since starting this process, what do we write? Do we treat it as a usual milestone letter and describe all the new skills Teddy has mastered since our last update in January? Do we make it a thank-you letter, expressing gratitude for the difficult choice she made to place Teddy for adoption? Do we make it a combination of both? Or do we write a happy Mother’s Day note from Teddy’s point of view? He does have a lot to say, after all. If only I could interpret baby babble…

This will be an evolving process. What we decide to do this time won’t necessarily be what we decide is best next year. And as Teddy gets older, we’ll involve him in the conversation about what to do. The important thing for us is to be intentional about doing something every year. Starting this year.


About savoringeverymoment

I'm a grammar geek (I'm firmly on the side of the serial comma), the wife of a baseball fanatic, and the mama of two delightful, rambunctious children. I live in the nation's capital and attend a church where all are welcome and encouraged to use their gifts and talents.

2 responses »

  1. This shows both your and Mikes big hearts, respect and gratitude for Teddy’s birth mother. I think whatever you do will mean a lot to her. Also it will make her heart feel good that her son is being raised in such a loving home. Just as she had dreamed for him.

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